Logger Blogger: A Retrospective

I hope you all enjoy my blogs, cause I sure do.
I know I wrote them but I forget about them sometimes too, and I often waste a lot of time rereading my previous blog posts.
For those of you that haven't been with me since the beginning or failed to delve into my archives, I present a few of my more momentous posts:

My favorite picture

Saddest

Most confusing (judged by the phone calls and emails I received asking who's the dude in the birthday hat)

A post I thought was super funny, but which very few people failed to grasp the humor in it and received little love.

My personal favorite. This post made me laugh the whole time I was writing it. Oh that I could be this funny and creative all the time!

and finally, the post that inspired a recent decision. (Fun Fact: It is also a post that I actually did not write nor post!)

Looking me in the eye is a sign that says, "Keep it simple" and I suppose I've arrived at the fact that having three active blogs isn't simple, so I've decided to stop posting on Logger Blogger.
It's something that has been a long time coming really.

For any fans I may have out there, don't worry, I'll still be posting on Logg Blogg and Whale In a Cubicle and who knows, maybe at some future date I'll throw something up here (don't delete it GoogleReader fans!)

Thanks for reading everyone.

Live, Laugh, Love...

I've never cared much for these wooden signs or letters, but today I saw the worst offender of the signage. Because if you need a sign to tell you to keep it simple, you've already lost the battle--you're not keeping it simple.


But thank heaven for signs like these, because without them I might have pee'd in the pantry thinking it was the bathroom.

Open your eyes America

I once got chased by some geese on a golf course in Ohio, they were, of course, Canadian Geese - when is our government going to wise up and build a fence between us and Canada?
I'm tired of all their birds coming to America and eating up all of our bird feed when there are American geese that don't have any bird feed. And don't try to tell me Canadian geese only eat the bird feed American geese wont eat, cause that's just not true.

And they won't stop there, do you know what's next?

They're going to start teaching Canadian bird calls right alongside American bird calls in our public schools. Soon the mighty screech of a bald eagle won't be able to be heard over the obnoxious 'honk' of Canadian geese.

Last time I checked there was an eagle on the back of my coins, not some common loon.

I dislike cold weather

Not a fan of cold weather.

Except for the increased possibility of free hot chocolate.

Don't say all of these in a row

The following are words that make me squeamish.
And the intensity of squeamishness associated with each word.

We don't actually hug....ever

All the Holman brothers will be in St. Louis over Thanksgiving.

This will be the first 'brothers' trip. (First of what I hope to be many!)
Although Matt's wife and kids will be there (they 'live' there or some lame excuse like that) we've promised that we won't let that spoil our trip.

In preparation we're getting an early start on designing our official "Brothers Vacation!" t-shirts.

Ideal floor plan

My genius

Q: What makes every food item better?
A: Cheese.

Q: How then do I improve a grilled cheese?
A: Cheese.

Grilled Cheese Cheese:
2 slices of bread
2 slices of cheese
and
a hefty layer of salsa con queso

Not even joking, just made this today and it was pretty incredible.

Q: Does all that cheese cork you up like a bottle?
A: Yes, but considering my regular circumstances, it was a pleasant change of pace.

Self-mastery

I've always considered myself a model for self-mastery,

but I'm realizing there are things that are even out of my control.

8 hours

For those of you that aren't aware, I work on the BYU Tree Crew.
In between chainsawing stuff and climbing trees to chainsaw stuff, we are still able to fit in some times of crippling boredom.

Today, during one such time of boredom, we discussed why we can spend 8 hours out of the day in trees and yet not one of us has seen a tick (on us or otherwise.)

We know there are ticks in Utah.
We know they inhabit our trees and our shrubbery.
We've been warned since our first camping trip not to go through tall grasses or make any sort of contact with anything besides the trail. And if you did.......?

The dreaded Tick Check.
We always told Greg Warner that he would have to check J.S. for ticks. There was a lot of space to check for ticks on that boy, if you get my drift. (My drift = He was huge and kind of had smelly skin. Bless his heart.)

So why no ticks?
We settled on they don't come into civilized areas. You don't have to do a tick check after a game of racquetball or after a board meeting.

Are they just too barbaric? Could we train a tick to live in a civilized world?

Naturally I began to think of My Fair Lady and this is what came to mind:

Congratulations tick, you did it.

It's no secret

I love Spiderman. Always have and always will.
I know it's nerdy and I make no apologies.

Tonight I decided to watch Spiderman 3, which I haven't seen since the theaters.
No one ever wants to watch it with me. I'm sure someone would humor me and suffer through it, but then they would probably laugh at me when I cry during the movie.
No joke, I have cried in two out of the three Spiderman movies.
When you hear me explain why, you'll cry a little too. That Aunt May is a wise woman.

Really though, I just love Spiderman.
And here's why...........I think I can actually be Spiderman.

I'm not talking about having this dream as a kid, I'm talking about right now, currently, as I write this.
This goes beyond fantasizing, I want to be Spiderman.
I can think of no other occupation, not even an Image Analyst or a Guy Who Gets Paid to Eat Little Caesars $5 Hot & Ready Pizzas, that I would want to be more than Spiderman.
It's a very real goal in my life.
I'm certain this is the underlying reason I started going to the gym.

Fossilize

In a talk he gave this Sunday in stake conference, Elder Ballard mentioned how alone Moroni must have felt at the end of the Book of Mormon.
Obviously that got me thinking about dinosaurs.
I wonder what that last dinosaur was thinking.
I almost feel worse for that poor little guy than I do for Moroni.
This poor sucker was wandering around with his pea-sized brain thinking, "Gotta find a mate, gotta find a mate, gotta find a mate.......etc." Not knowing there was no one else out there.

I hope I'm not that dinosaur.
Just wandering around, thinking there's something out there that isn't.

And I just gotta say congrats to Gregory.
Way to find yourself a nice little female dinosaur to marry (Note to Jessica: Not comparing you in anyway to a dinosaur, it's just the theme I've got going.)

A Venn diagram

Is it you?

Sometimes Facebook is the only one who cares

I'm not up to much, thanks for asking Facebook.
What are you up too?
Wanna hang out or something? Try and find that cute girl from my freshman physical science class?

Oh, you're busy. Nah dude thats cool, don't worry about it, I'll just blog for awhile. We'll catch up some other time.

The view is not that great

Do you have the courage to conquer my relationship mountain?
Bear in mind, should we run out of food, we'll start eating each other, just like on Alive.

White man angst

Dear guy that still sits on the grass with his acoustic guitar plugging out the latest Jack Johnson or Dashboard Confessional song,

No one is impressed.
Yup, no one.
No, not even her.
Sorry.

With love,

Logan

I love how it looks like a traffic light

My sister started a "favorite things" list, in an effort to be more like Oprah I suppose.
So in an effort to mock her (my sister and Oprah), I will now present one of my favorite things.
And that is: G-chat.
G chat allows me to present myself to an online group of friends as witty, clever, and intelligent, which is generally a lie if you interact with me in the real world but that's the beauty of it all.
If someone uses a big word, I google it. If I need to use a big word, I look one up (typically by googling) and unlike a real conversation where I'm not allowed to consult a dictionary or thesaurus, I've got all the time in the world to respond. No time constraint makes being witty a breeze.
But the best is that I'm able to create the illusion that I'm busy. (See above picture)
Its just not true.
I'm fairly certain I was clipping my fingernails when I took this screen-shot.

You are also seeing my favorite habit of 'status chatting.' It gives me the ability to broadcast a message to all my friends (and Dr. Jensen, my professor), so whether I'm asking individuals to rate me or just giving a shout out to a friend's mind-blowing ghetto booty, mass communication is one of my 'favorite things.'

Gravity

Have you ever felt that gravity is pulling especially hard on you?
I'm having one of those moments.
I'm just sitting in a chair and it suddenly feels like someone is standing on my shoulders.
Gravity should be the same for everyone right? And it shouldn't suddenly change correct?
Explain that one science, and while you're at it use your "Laws of Motion" to explain a curve ball or a slider.
You can't and this is why I don't believe in you.
Tantamount to Santa Clause and world peace is science.
Its all a hoax.
But you ask, "What reasons does the powerful 'science lobby' have in keeping us in the dark about what is really happening?"
Answer: Government grants.
Think about it, have you ever actually seen a particle? No, you haven't. But we still dropped millions into building an expensive machine to speed them up and smash them together. I can see the 'scientists' now, sitting around with their feet propped up on their fancy accelerator, drinking their champagne until one of them points and screams, "Hey there went another one!" and then they all laugh so hard they wet their little lab coats.
Wake up America and vote for a candidate who won't bow to these thugs.

Is this just a big Bolivian joke?

*In no way is the following image photoshopped. No, not in the least. I really couldn't make stuff like this up.

That's right, Lake Poopo.
And the worst of it is Lake Titicaca drains into this lake.
I mean c'mon! I always knew about Lake Titicaca, but Poopo?

Appreciate love

Don't be bitter.
Don't label this day as "singles awareness day."
I'm single.
Oh well, I'm over it.
Someday I'm sure it'll happen.