Logger Blogger

Logger Blogger: A Retrospective

2009-02-03T19:58:00.005-07:00

I hope you all enjoy my blogs, cause I sure do.
I know I wrote them but I forget about them sometimes too, and I often waste a lot of time rereading my previous blog posts.
For those of you that haven't been with me since the beginning or failed to delve into my archives, I present a few of my more momentous posts:

My favorite picture

Saddest

Most confusing (judged by the phone calls and emails I received asking who's the dude in the birthday hat)

A post I thought was super funny, but which very few people failed to grasp the humor in it and received little love.

My personal favorite. This post made me laugh the whole time I was writing it. Oh that I could be this funny and creative all the time!

and finally, the post that inspired a recent decision. (Fun Fact: It is also a post that I actually did not write nor post!)

Looking me in the eye is a sign that says, "Keep it simple" and I suppose I've arrived at the fact that having three active blogs isn't simple, so I've decided to stop posting on Logger Blogger.
It's something that has been a long time coming really.

For any fans I may have out there, don't worry, I'll still be posting on Logg Blogg and Whale In a Cubicle and who knows, maybe at some future date I'll throw something up here (don't delete it GoogleReader fans!)

Thanks for reading everyone.

Live, Laugh, Love...

2009-01-27T18:18:00.005-07:00

I've never cared much for these wooden signs or letters, but today I saw the worst offender of the signage. Because if you need a sign to tell you to keep it simple, you've already lost the battle--you're not keeping it simple.

But thank heaven for signs like these, because without them I might have pee'd in the pantry thinking it was the bathroom.

Open your eyes America

2008-12-17T22:57:00.004-07:00

I once got chased by some geese on a golf course in Ohio, they were, of course, Canadian Geese - when is our government going to wise up and build a fence between us and Canada?
I'm tired of all their birds coming to America and eating up all of our bird feed when there are American geese that don't have any bird feed. And don't try to tell me Canadian geese only eat the bird feed American geese wont eat, cause that's just not true.

And they won't stop there, do you know what's next?

They're going to start teaching Canadian bird calls right alongside American bird calls in our public schools. Soon the mighty screech of a bald eagle won't be able to be heard over the obnoxious 'honk' of Canadian geese.

Last time I checked there was an eagle on the back of my coins, not some common loon.

I dislike cold weather

2008-12-08T22:45:00.002-07:00

Not a fan of cold weather.

Except for the increased possibility of free hot chocolate.

Don't say all of these in a row

2008-10-26T23:59:00.002-06:00

The following are words that make me squeamish.
And the intensity of squeamishness associated with each word.

Click on 'People'

2008-10-12T20:32:00.003-06:00

I'm not one to follow politics, in fact I make it a point to generally ignore political discussion.
But sometimes you can't ignore something.
And fortunately there are people in this world that take a more active stance.

My depressed and flaccid pumpkin is a sad tale of what can happen to the world if you leave it to its own devices with no effort to preserve it........it'll rot.

We don't actually hug....ever

2008-10-09T19:41:00.003-06:00

All the Holman brothers will be in St. Louis over Thanksgiving.

This will be the first 'brothers' trip. (First of what I hope to be many!)
Although Matt's wife and kids will be there (they 'live' there or some lame excuse like that) we've promised that we won't let that spoil our trip.

In preparation we're getting an early start on designing our official "Brothers Vacation!" t-shirts.

Ideal floor plan

2008-09-05T21:29:00.000-06:00

My genius

2008-07-21T13:42:00.003-06:00

Q: What makes every food item better?
A: Cheese.

Q: How then do I improve a grilled cheese?
A: Cheese.

Grilled Cheese Cheese:
2 slices of bread
2 slices of cheese
and
a hefty layer of salsa con queso

Not even joking, just made this today and it was pretty incredible.

Q: Does all that cheese cork you up like a bottle?
A: Yes, but considering my regular circumstances, it was a pleasant change of pace.

Self-mastery

2008-07-13T21:03:00.000-06:00

I've always considered myself a model for self-mastery,

but I'm realizing there are things that are even out of my control.

8 hours

2008-06-24T20:29:00.002-06:00

For those of you that aren't aware, I work on the BYU Tree Crew.
In between chainsawing stuff and climbing trees to chainsaw stuff, we are still able to fit in some times of crippling boredom.

Today, during one such time of boredom, we discussed why we can spend 8 hours out of the day in trees and yet not one of us has seen a tick (on us or otherwise.)

We know there are ticks in Utah.
We know they inhabit our trees and our shrubbery.
We've been warned since our first camping trip not to go through tall grasses or make any sort of contact with anything besides the trail. And if you did.......?

The dreaded Tick Check.
We always told Greg Warner that he would have to check J.S. for ticks. There was a lot of space to check for ticks on that boy, if you get my drift. (My drift = He was huge and kind of had smelly skin. Bless his heart.)

So why no ticks?
We settled on they don't come into civilized areas. You don't have to do a tick check after a game of racquetball or after a board meeting.

Are they just too barbaric? Could we train a tick to live in a civilized world?

Naturally I began to think of My Fair Lady and this is what came to mind:

Congratulations tick, you did it.

It's no secret

2008-06-17T21:13:00.003-06:00

I love Spiderman. Always have and always will.
I know it's nerdy and I make no apologies.

Tonight I decided to watch Spiderman 3, which I haven't seen since the theaters.
No one ever wants to watch it with me. I'm sure someone would humor me and suffer through it, but then they would probably laugh at me when I cry during the movie.
No joke, I have cried in two out of the three Spiderman movies.
When you hear me explain why, you'll cry a little too. That Aunt May is a wise woman.

Really though, I just love Spiderman.
And here's why...........I think I can actually be Spiderman.

I'm not talking about having this dream as a kid, I'm talking about right now, currently, as I write this.
This goes beyond fantasizing, I want to be Spiderman.
I can think of no other occupation, not even an Image Analyst or a Guy Who Gets Paid to Eat Little Caesars $5 Hot & Ready Pizzas, that I would want to be more than Spiderman.
It's a very real goal in my life.
I'm certain this is the underlying reason I started going to the gym.

Fossilize

2008-05-04T22:25:00.005-06:00

In a talk he gave this Sunday in stake conference, Elder Ballard mentioned how alone Moroni must have felt at the end of the Book of Mormon.
Obviously that got me thinking about dinosaurs.
I wonder what that last dinosaur was thinking.
I almost feel worse for that poor little guy than I do for Moroni.
This poor sucker was wandering around with his pea-sized brain thinking, "Gotta find a mate, gotta find a mate, gotta find a mate.......etc." Not knowing there was no one else out there.

I hope I'm not that dinosaur.
Just wandering around, thinking there's something out there that isn't.

And I just gotta say congrats to Gregory.
Way to find yourself a nice little female dinosaur to marry (Note to Jessica: Not comparing you in anyway to a dinosaur, it's just the theme I've got going.)

A Venn diagram

2008-04-13T23:27:00.004-06:00

Is it you?

Sometimes Facebook is the only one who cares

2008-04-05T22:56:00.004-06:00

I'm not up to much, thanks for asking Facebook.
What are you up too?
Wanna hang out or something? Try and find that cute girl from my freshman physical science class?

Oh, you're busy. Nah dude thats cool, don't worry about it, I'll just blog for awhile. We'll catch up some other time.

The view is not that great

2008-03-22T16:26:00.006-06:00

Do you have the courage to conquer my relationship mountain?
Bear in mind, should we run out of food, we'll start eating each other, just like on Alive.

White man angst

2008-03-15T22:53:00.003-06:00

Dear guy that still sits on the grass with his acoustic guitar plugging out the latest Jack Johnson or Dashboard Confessional song,

No one is impressed.
Yup, no one.
No, not even her.
Sorry.

With love,

Logan

I love how it looks like a traffic light

2008-03-11T00:34:00.006-06:00

My sister started a "favorite things" list, in an effort to be more like Oprah I suppose.
So in an effort to mock her (my sister and Oprah), I will now present one of my favorite things.
And that is: G-chat.
G chat allows me to present myself to an online group of friends as witty, clever, and intelligent, which is generally a lie if you interact with me in the real world but that's the beauty of it all.
If someone uses a big word, I google it. If I need to use a big word, I look one up (typically by googling) and unlike a real conversation where I'm not allowed to consult a dictionary or thesaurus, I've got all the time in the world to respond. No time constraint makes being witty a breeze.
But the best is that I'm able to create the illusion that I'm busy. (See above picture)
Its just not true.
I'm fairly certain I was clipping my fingernails when I took this screen-shot.

You are also seeing my favorite habit of 'status chatting.' It gives me the ability to broadcast a message to all my friends (and Dr. Jensen, my professor), so whether I'm asking individuals to rate me or just giving a shout out to a friend's mind-blowing ghetto booty, mass communication is one of my 'favorite things.'

Gravity

2008-02-28T20:05:00.005-07:00

Have you ever felt that gravity is pulling especially hard on you?
I'm having one of those moments.
I'm just sitting in a chair and it suddenly feels like someone is standing on my shoulders.
Gravity should be the same for everyone right? And it shouldn't suddenly change correct?
Explain that one science, and while you're at it use your "Laws of Motion" to explain a curve ball or a slider.
You can't and this is why I don't believe in you.
Tantamount to Santa Clause and world peace is science.
Its all a hoax.
But you ask, "What reasons does the powerful 'science lobby' have in keeping us in the dark about what is really happening?"
Answer: Government grants.
Think about it, have you ever actually seen a particle? No, you haven't. But we still dropped millions into building an expensive machine to speed them up and smash them together. I can see the 'scientists' now, sitting around with their feet propped up on their fancy accelerator, drinking their champagne until one of them points and screams, "Hey there went another one!" and then they all laugh so hard they wet their little lab coats.
Wake up America and vote for a candidate who won't bow to these thugs.

Is this just a big Bolivian joke?

2008-02-20T21:54:00.005-07:00

*In no way is the following image photoshopped. No, not in the least. I really couldn't make stuff like this up.

That's right, Lake Poopo.
And the worst of it is Lake Titicaca drains into this lake.
I mean c'mon! I always knew about Lake Titicaca, but Poopo?

Appreciate love

2008-02-14T00:01:00.003-07:00

Don't be bitter.
Don't label this day as "singles awareness day."
I'm single.
Oh well, I'm over it.
Someday I'm sure it'll happen.

It a doric style column

2008-02-06T23:31:00.001-07:00

Ya, its that time of year.

FYI

2008-02-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

I usually don't advertise on my blog, but since both of these are personal side projects, I feel justified.

First is a blog I created in response to my siblings requests to actually have a blog that documented what went on in my life (not just in my head). So I created Logg Blogg, please enjoy.

The second is a joint project with my friend Chris Tobler. We both love music and in an effort to share that love, we started an exclusively music-oriented blog. Whale in a cubicle. Be impressed by the amount of nerdery that went into figuring out the music player.
So if you enjoy music at all or are just curious, check it out.

Apparently, I now come with baggage

2008-01-31T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'm in my office with the door wide open and I can hear all the conversations going on around me, I catch one half way through:

Guy: Ya, they just don't know how the world works.
Girl: They don't understand that some people argue, I'm glad I grew up in a home where my parents weren't afraid to yell at each other, they didn't keep it all bottled inside.
Guy: My mom wasn't some spineless woman, when she wanted something she made sure my dad knew it. I don't know how they live in such an oppressive environment.
Girl: Where are you from?
Guy: California. You're from Colorado right?
Girl: Ya. (Long Pause) I think Elder Oaks said something about how he was glad that he heard his parents arguing.
Guy: But he's not from Utah?
Girl: I don't think so.
Guy: People from Utah just don't understand the way a home is supposed to work, parents argue, husbands and wives argue, its a fact of life, you need to grow and understand how to resolve problems.........."

I stopped listening.
There are a lot of points you can pick out of this conversation, the primary being,
my life, and those of my siblings, are forever messed up due to the happiness of our parents and the healthy environment they raised us in.

And just to clear things up, Elder Oaks is from Provo.

Heaven is a Simple Place

2008-01-22T21:16:00.001-07:00

Just two men, putting aside differences that may have complicated the past, enjoying each others company, celebrating their lives.
Black and white, white and black.
Blow out the candles and let the past be the past.
Happy birthday.

Concert Review

2008-01-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

Last night, Stir It Up, a classic by the late Bob Marley was defiled.
It was ritualistically laid upon an altar of shame and perverted before my eyes.
The scene was indescribable, inexpressible, and unbelievable.
Why? Answer me Ivy League, why?
You danced around in your little argyle sweat suits and attempted to sing the words of a much greater man and like the rest of your kind, you failed.
You took a classic and corrupted it.
You took something I hold close to my heart and forever tainted it.
Congratulations, you taint.

And I mean 'taint' in every sense of the word.

Failed Header

2008-01-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

How I spent my Christmas Break

2008-01-02T01:19:00.001-07:00

Dream

2007-12-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

No joke. I was debating against a velociraptor. He (or she?) wasn't even intelligent, just did all those screeching sounds we remember so fondly from Jurassic Park.

A picture and a poem.

2007-12-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

People sleep starving, people sleep in fear,
freedoms are restricted, millions disappear.
You're not the only one, I have problems too,
so excuse me,
if I don't give a damn about you.

Requiem for a Honda

2007-12-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:13

I’ve lost a dear and loyal friend. My friend of over six years, James, passed away November 27^th due to injuries sustained during a car accident.

James sacrificed himself, he ransomed his life for the lives of his friends and even while his own body was rent and torn apart by the impact, he saved the lives of those that he loved. His once powerful and robust form lay shattered on the roadside, his beautiful visage scarred by the collision, but his spirit persisted and in one final act of courage and compassion, James carried us all to safety.

I know James was just a car, and you may find this corny, offensive, and even blasphemous, but maybe I hoped that in humanizing him I could attempt to express my gratitude, maybe a little too lightheartedly, to who really saved our lives that night.

Seriously, I’ll miss James. He was the best car you could have ever asked for. He never failed me and I did my best to take good care of him. There was genuine grief felt by myself and a few of James’ closest friends over his demise and many other friends called to give their condolences, all referring to James by name. He touched a lot of lives, and when we remember that James was a car, that makes it pretty darn impressive. (I now wonder if my passing will be as low-spirited as James’)

My heart breaks when I think that I’ll never see James again. He’s a car, not a soul.

However, we can take comfort knowing that James passed away coming home from a concert and full of beautiful women. His two great loves.

James
1997 - 2007

What if they thought what I thought?

2007-11-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

In a perfect world they would.

Dashboard Confessionals: Stop Screaming Infidelities

2007-11-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

Danke schoen Katrina

2007-11-04T12:09:00.001-07:00

This picture was drawn and given to me by a dear friend that could see the love of old MS-DOS based game play shining through my very countenance. Those unfamiliar with Commander Keen: Aliens and pogo-sticks. 'Nuff said.

May He Rest In Peace

2007-10-23T23:28:00.001-06:00

Jerry Falwell 1933-2007

We may not have liked him, but lets give it up for a man who had a goal and accomplished it.

Let There Be Rock!

2007-10-04T20:41:00.001-06:00

After the release of their first album more than six months ago Christian-Rock pioneers MT 2MB have announced the release of their second studio album, "By Faith Alone."
Logan H. said in a recent interview concerning their new release, "Our first album was really for the fans, this album is a departure from the usual. Kneels and I took some time off of the touring circuit, cleared our heads, got on our knees, and recorded our most experimental album to date. That was actually all done within an afternoon, mixing and all, but I think the results speak for themselves."
Reviews are already pouring in from across the Christian community:

”I'd build my house on this rock!”

R. Jackson

(The Garden Tomb. Reno, NV)

”Ushering in a 5^th Great Awakening.”

J. Davis

(The Daily Devotional. Hartford, CT)

“Umm……way off.”

J. Christ

“Putting the rock back in Rock of Ages.”

M. Bekker

(Piety Today. Bedford, VA)

“And MT 2MB looked at the world and said, “Let there be rock!”

S. Otterstrom

(Saved?, Eugene, OR)

Snoop would win a Nobel Prize.

2007-09-21T00:29:00.001-06:00

My professor in class said, "mapping sciences", but for some reason I heard, "rapping sciences". This is exactly what came to my mind.

Loganland: Come for the natural beauty, but stay for the pie.

2007-09-16T23:24:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking, maybe the reason more women don't want to stake a claim in Loganland is that I just haven't been advertising enough. So I'm throwing out my old marketing scheme and rebuilding it from the ground up (Don't worry, I'm still marketing to my original demographic.) The flagship for my new strategy will be a flashy ad campaign centered around all the good qualities of Loganland and being unapologetic of any previously embarrassing features or events.

The Reason for the Season

2007-09-02T22:57:00.001-06:00

The corporate commercialization of Labor Day is out of control. Honestly, it used to be that you wouldn’t see Labor Day decorations or gifts until after Independence Day but now they are popping up right after Memorial Day! Shame on you!

Have we forgotten the Knights of Labor or the Chicago Haymarket Riot of 1886? Maybe it’s about time that we put the Central Labor Union back into our Labor Day?

It is just heartbreaking to think that future generations may never know about the Affiliates of the International Workingmen’s Association and their fight for the eight-hour workday.

I don’t know about you but I’m going to take this day to drink a fine glass of Labor Day Egg Nog, sit my children down, read to them Federal Congressional Governmental Act of Congress #39845522007/94, and send them off to bed with the promise, “If you’re good President Cleveland will bring you an Executive Memorandum too.”

Why can’t we celebrate the cooperative socialist spirit of Labor Day throughout the year?

This is my dream America; together we can make it happen.

Seriously, I've got nothing.

2007-08-28T21:32:00.000-06:00

I'm gonna be honest. I've got nothing for this blog right now. The creative juices are all tapped out.

While struggling to think of something to post I sat at the computer doodling on a legal pad with a green highlighter. After about an hour I thought, "What the heck, I'll just stick this on there."

I think the results speak for themselves.

Saving souls one face-melting guitar solo at a time.

2007-08-19T18:36:00.000-06:00

"MT 2MB (pronounced 'empty tomb') was born one night at 2 AM within the humble hearts of two roommates. Originally conceived only as a side project for renowned Glockenspiel-ist Logan Holman (of ‘Guitarmageddon’ fame) it quickly evolved into something more when Logan collaborated with pianist Niels “Kneels” Jensen (most recently associated with O.W.G.). The world has been praising their purely average and predictable style of Christian-Rock since.
“Forming a Christian-Rock band was an obvious choice.” said Logan in a 2007 interview, “We had a bunch of songs that no record label would touch, so we ended up just switching out the word ‘baby’ in our songs for the name ‘Jesus’ and we’ve been on top of the Gospel charts ever since.”
-Rollingstone

Birthday

2007-08-12T16:41:00.000-06:00

I'm getting older now. Twenty-four years.

I suppose that my added years have made me more reflective and I've finally decided that I need to find some direction.

So I've started making goals to get me on the right track.

Goal 1: Eat seven items off the Wendy's Value Menu in one sitting.

I feel slightly uncomfortable with sharing such personal information, but maybe this way you can help me reach these new steps I've taken in my life.

Binary Love Poem

2007-08-10T20:37:00.000-06:00

Oh sweet (Insert your name here)
How I love thee,
Let me count the ways: 0, 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000, 1001, 1010, 1011, 1100, 1101.....etc.

That was a long 409.3 miles Mapquest.

2007-07-23T14:12:00.000-06:00

Whatever you call it, Hades, the Abyss, the Netherworld, Sheol, Perdition, Wyoming, or the Underworld, it all means the same thing.

Flattering

2007-07-12T22:36:00.000-06:00

Don't make me explain it. It's not something you can teach. You either have it or you don't.

Not so flattering

2007-07-12T22:34:00.000-06:00

A copy of my letter of recommmendation.

The weight of a claim.

2007-07-04T11:31:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry but I have a problem with this. Not a problem with orphans, I support orphans (not the act of making orphans, but rather the general support of orphans.)

I have issues with the statement that the musical act is in the same style of Ben Harper. I'm sorry Sam, but I doubt it. The Ben Harper style can't be labeled and set down in a nicely defined genre, the Ben Harper style can only be defined by Ben Harper. Ben Harper is a genre unto himself.

This isn't a call to repentance, but it also isn't not a call to repentance.

Except for West Virginia

2007-07-02T21:29:00.000-06:00

Inspired

2007-06-27T08:25:00.000-06:00

This comic is on loan from the private collection of Josh Holman (who appears courtesy of Xango Ent.)

2007-06-25T13:56:00.000-06:00

Irritable Bowel Syndrome (or Spastic Colon) : A functional bowel disorder characterized by abdominal pain, changes in bowel habits, and an increase in really funny/awkward stories.

It's far from over

2007-06-20T23:44:00.000-06:00

Uncomfortable

2007-06-20T22:56:00.000-06:00

I wasn't aware that I had lost it

2007-06-20T22:54:00.000-06:00

It goes to eleven.

2007-06-18T20:16:00.000-06:00

Heal America Guitar Hero. Reach to the tired and tattered heart and strum some life back into this great nation. And while you're at it whammy the sin out of its loins.

Virgin Blogger

2007-06-18T20:08:00.000-06:00

Posting for the very first time!